Mar 182010

Alert your labmates
if your prep will require all
the lab’s baffled flasks.

Refill or reorder
reagents before you empty
the goddamn bottle.

Touching toxins, gloves
go on. Touching telephones,
take those nasty things off.

Ceiling tiles collapse.
Leaky roof, heavy rainstorm:
farewell, sweet laptop.

Analog  balances
only help if the pans are
level when empty.

Also, you shouldn’t
assume that all tube holders
possess the same mass.

Yes that is why the
ultracentrifuge had an
imbalance error.

Your office is next
to the damn thing, you can do
whatever you want.

Just don’t come crying
when the rotor flies out and
caves in your ribcage.

Do not put ether
or chloroform into the
sink, motherfucker!

What’s your damn problem?
Discard organic solvents
to organic waste!

Who the hell is your
lab’s safety officer? I’m
going to end him.